Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
