And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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