he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Can Purell be used as lube?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
