Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.

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  (402): lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce (1-402): IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE. http://tfl.nu/loe7
  Replies (105) Good night (13349) Bad night (1767)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.

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  (503): I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon. http://tfl.nu/wp82
  Replies (49) Good night (5803) Bad night (813)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?

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  (802): and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina? http://tfl.nu/mzx1
  Replies (47) Good night (768) Bad night (6208)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.

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  (817): It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it. http://tfl.nu/48x8
  Replies (37) Good night (3731) Bad night (1329)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.

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  (425): I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque. http://tfl.nu/62jx
  Replies (4) Good night (866) Bad night (3728)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"

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  (757): Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow" http://tfl.nu/vtnd
  Replies (8) Good night (3027) Bad night (925)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.

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  (715): That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile. http://tfl.nu/lpc5
  Replies (8) Good night (1904) Bad night (1065)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex

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  (226): This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex http://tfl.nu/70co
  Replies (7) Good night (1997) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!

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  (724): If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF! http://tfl.nu/xzr6
  Replies (14) Good night (1652) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.

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  (612): If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home. http://tfl.nu/rwle
  Replies (3) Good night (892) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.

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  (303): It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address. http://tfl.nu/4jnm
  Replies (6) Good night (504) Bad night (813)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.

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  (210): Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning. http://tfl.nu/jk8r
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.

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  (320): I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED. http://tfl.nu/gyzc
  Replies (8) Good night (992) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.

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  (602): So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk. http://tfl.nu/56hg
  Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.

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  (360): Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done. http://tfl.nu/hy12
  Replies (0) Good night (832) Bad night (350)

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