I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Apparently you make a good broom.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life