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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.

  Fav 9 3884 845

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?

  Fav 10 5433 2167

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?

  (316): View more from Kansas

  pills.

  Fav 3 1753 1001

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.

  Fav 3 2686 928

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (845): View more from New York

  I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar

  Fav 22 1192 1829

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.

  Fav 2 588 1091

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• (407): View more from Florida

  SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE

  Fav 8 2379 922

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.

  Fav 10 2005 783

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.

  Fav 2 675 493

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there

  Fav 3 705 553

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?

  Fav 3 584 862

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!

  Fav 3 700 501

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.

  Fav 0 678 396

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.

  Fav 0 266 202

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation

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