Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.

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  (410): I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral. http://tfl.nu/e026
  Replies (8) Good night (1763) Bad night (454)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.

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  (602): im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child. http://tfl.nu/zwuo
  Replies (16) Good night (1661) Bad night (3897)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her

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  (608): Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her http://tfl.nu/en5u
  Replies (48) Good night (2611) Bad night (3275)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.

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  (717): fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear. http://tfl.nu/l3zn
  Replies (40) Good night (5479) Bad night (1222)
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  (315): View more from New York

  at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache

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  (315): at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache http://tfl.nu/jjc2
  Replies (14) Good night (1158) Bad night (4021)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?

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  (614): Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team? http://tfl.nu/idfg
  Replies (12) Good night (3605) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.

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  (701): He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon. http://tfl.nu/hvqj
  Replies (5) Good night (1552) Bad night (726)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?

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  (765): We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic? http://tfl.nu/pmld
  Replies (15) Good night (1300) Bad night (2690)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...

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  (360): Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated? (903): Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake... http://tfl.nu/fy7y
  Replies (6) Good night (2429) Bad night (597)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick

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  (204): she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick http://tfl.nu/7rr6
  Replies (5) Good night (947) Bad night (2111)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night

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  (630): I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night http://tfl.nu/4uc3
  Replies (8) Good night (1241) Bad night (598)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G

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  (503): I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G http://tfl.nu/pzjk
  Replies (5) Good night (1708) Bad night (478)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?

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  (270): We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job? http://tfl.nu/b7v3
  Replies (17) Good night (1095) Bad night (630)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.

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  (570): it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing. http://tfl.nu/57qo
  Replies (4) Good night (850) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship

  (817): View more from Texas

  Last one there wins

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  (408): Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship (817): Last one there wins http://tfl.nu/wuri
  Replies (3) Good night (1988) Bad night (573)

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