I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?