Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight

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  (740): Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook. (740): Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight http://tfl.nu/qdoi
  Replies (23) Good night (742) Bad night (2887)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.

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  (228): two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter. http://tfl.nu/ayzd
  Replies (26) Good night (753) Bad night (3769)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.

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  (636): Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning. http://tfl.nu/gyoc
  Replies (10) Good night (4459) Bad night (498)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement

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  (515): so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement http://tfl.nu/2t2h
  Replies (6) Good night (587) Bad night (3494)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.

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  (412): i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once. http://tfl.nu/brbs
  Replies (21) Good night (3144) Bad night (969)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  well now I have to

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  (405): I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home. (1-405): well now I have to http://tfl.nu/4hfb
  Replies (9) Good night (3766) Bad night (1759)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.

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  (256): I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly. http://tfl.nu/2jju
  Replies (9) Good night (2535) Bad night (897)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  ...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.

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  (717): ...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk. http://tfl.nu/2qzx
  Replies (4) Good night (1847) Bad night (769)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.

  (407): View more from Florida

  yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.

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  (813): his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call. (407): yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/agts
  Replies (10) Good night (3023) Bad night (834)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....

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  (732): say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today.... http://tfl.nu/1sxc
  Replies (3) Good night (816) Bad night (1293)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?

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  (336): I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/ctqb
  Replies (4) Good night (482) Bad night (1124)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo

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  (207): I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo http://tfl.nu/r3az
  Replies (7) Good night (1488) Bad night (433)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry

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  (610): Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry http://tfl.nu/g7mi
  Replies (3) Good night (674) Bad night (312)
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  (914): View more from New York

  low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..

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  (914): low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen.. http://tfl.nu/o2yv
  Replies (2) Good night (276) Bad night (577)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.

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  (315): Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men. http://tfl.nu/0oi0
  Replies (6) Good night (511) Bad night (212)

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