So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.