I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
