Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
