What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
