please come you make the beer taste better
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
