is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
