Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
