Fuck appropriateness.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
