bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
