hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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