FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
