i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
