i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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