People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
