i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
