did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
