don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize