We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
