somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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