I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
