sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize