Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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