things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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