I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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