I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
