Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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