And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
