Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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