was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
my poor anus
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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