Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
