so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize