Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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