Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?

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  (815): the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest? http://tfl.nu/605y
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (1151)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady

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  (202): i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady http://tfl.nu/uziv
  Replies (21) Good night (1910) Bad night (585)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.

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  (907): I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it. http://tfl.nu/6xls
  Replies (38) Good night (8687) Bad night (1418)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Responsible fail?

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  (907): Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior? (773): Responsible fail? http://tfl.nu/nxhx
  Replies (19) Good night (1456) Bad night (5428)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  "tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?

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  (404): "tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/cthr
  Replies (16) Good night (978) Bad night (7731)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  "Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.

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  (704): "Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization. http://tfl.nu/xva8
  Replies (24) Good night (4099) Bad night (876)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it

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  (765): you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it http://tfl.nu/18g9
  Replies (23) Good night (11109) Bad night (807)
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  (916): View more from California

  i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...

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  (916): i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store... http://tfl.nu/z9dc
  Replies (50) Good night (7861) Bad night (909)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??

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  (201): dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her?? http://tfl.nu/1hfi
  Replies (8) Good night (1105) Bad night (3878)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.

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  (+44): There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this. http://tfl.nu/9lta
  Replies (6) Good night (2227) Bad night (1409)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent

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  (856): I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent http://tfl.nu/ara2
  Replies (6) Good night (2575) Bad night (933)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.

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  (817): Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence. http://tfl.nu/yx0o
  Replies (4) Good night (2024) Bad night (463)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.

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  (785): I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves. http://tfl.nu/0ncq
  Replies (1) Good night (456) Bad night (276)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?

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  (813): I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight? http://tfl.nu/eoxv
  Replies (14) Good night (1465) Bad night (285)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.

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  (303): Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super. http://tfl.nu/a5le
  Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (225)

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