I like to think it a success when the cops are called
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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