Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in

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(917): this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in http://tfl.nu/into

Replies (4) Good night (991) Bad night (2046)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.

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(580): I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite. http://tfl.nu/hgau

Replies (12) Good night (902) Bad night (2671)
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(916): View more from California

They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.

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(916): They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door. http://tfl.nu/s1xt

Replies (23) Good night (6375) Bad night (1027)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.

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(304): His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know. http://tfl.nu/hifx

Replies (13) Good night (3871) Bad night (671)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.

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(440): Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place. http://tfl.nu/kait

Replies (25) Good night (24203) Bad night (1332)
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(256): View more from Alabama

so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.

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(256): so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart. http://tfl.nu/u8db

Replies (30) Good night (8212) Bad night (1279)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand

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(781): what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand http://tfl.nu/hzsn

Replies (8) Good night (4715) Bad night (1087)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.

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(320): You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time. http://tfl.nu/fdjv

Replies (7) Good night (1429) Bad night (3370)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.

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(515): Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him. http://tfl.nu/f51r

Replies (5) Good night (901) Bad night (2531)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist

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(416): Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist http://tfl.nu/x60r

Replies (5) Good night (928) Bad night (1628)
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(618): View more from Illinois

And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it

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(618): And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it http://tfl.nu/zwsy

Replies (5) Good night (1563) Bad night (651)
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(317): View more from Indiana

We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward

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(317): We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward http://tfl.nu/ufug

Replies (6) Good night (1608) Bad night (826)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.

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(732): didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull. http://tfl.nu/3dne

Replies (1) Good night (361) Bad night (692)
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(807): View more from Ontario

Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.

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(807): Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/5cxi

Replies (6) Good night (382) Bad night (759)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.

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(301): I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes. http://tfl.nu/nn8c

Replies (2) Good night (297) Bad night (384)

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