I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina