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• (858): View more from California

  Fuck U Mike is a golden god.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Mike give steph back her phone.

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• (951): View more from California

  As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it

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• (818): View more from California

  I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape

  (310): View more from California

  wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?

  (818): View more from California

  why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  "I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (360): View more from Washington

  It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK

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