At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?