I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame