in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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