we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Fuck appropriateness.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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