There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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