I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
