I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The struggles of a small town man whore
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
