Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
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he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
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Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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