So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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