i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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