I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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