You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Your cock deserves a montage
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
