this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
