and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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