dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
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You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
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I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize