theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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