I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
