they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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