my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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