I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize