I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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