yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
