I hate your face
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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