so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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