i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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