I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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