shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
