Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
