It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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