so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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