The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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