I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
