Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
