every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
