Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
