I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
