yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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