Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
