How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
This is sufficient.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world