Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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